Thursday, December 8, 2011

Shattered Windows

Numerous times over the last few years, viruses and malware have attacked our family Windows PCs. We've fought back, and spent days taking back our computers. But each time we lost a bit more faith in Microsoft products.

We have five active computers in the house. The last one running Windows was shut down last week. And it's all because of the Swiss cheese operating system.

My son was the first to make the leap. He chose the path of Red Hat Linux. That was several years ago when running Linux was still difficult. He's a bit of a computer geek and adapted. Soon, he was hacking his way across the Net and into the neighbor's routers.

The next two computers giving up on Windows were both mine. I'd battled with the Windows XP Antispyware 2010 and 2011 too many times. When my desktop unit was completely befuddled, I bought a new laptop, then installed Ubuntu on both of them.

A few weeks later, my middle daughter was attacked by Windows XP Antispyware 2011. She too gave up on Windows. She's had enough. The middle child chose a Macintosh and hasn't looked back.

About 2 weeks ago, my youngest, who thought she was safe with Windows 7 was fried by the Win 7 Antispyware 2012. We spent a night killing off that nasty bit of malware. She fumed for another day, then went and bought herself a Mac.

So, we're a family finally free of Windows PCs - Yea!

Except at work, where the computer techs just spent the better half of the morning battling yet another piece of crap that had infiltrated Windows Outlook.

How long till businesses wake up?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Fox News Says there's no Santa

I've always known that Fox News was right wing and filled with folks who care more about money than people. But fuck me running ... no Santa? Watch the video here.

The Drive-by Shooting that Wasn't

Let me clear this up a bit. I live in a condo complex, and yes, there was a shooting at my next door neighbor's two nights ago: 12 shots from at least 2 guns. I slept through it and missed all of the excitement. But it wasn't a drive-by. It was my neighbors shooting at someone else.

For me, that's a big difference. No bullets heading my way. They were aimed at a car passing by on the street. I've since talked more with my neighbor. It was her son, the drug dealer, doing the shooting. She's a nice lady. Her kid's nice too, but a bit of a dumbass.

My kids are a bit freaked out, and I don't blame them. But when it comes down to it, they're all grown-ass adults and they can choose where they live.

Me? I live where I can afford to live.

Or die.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Well, fuck it ... Time to blog and Tumbl

I've had a Tumblr for about six months, but I've not used it. Just a couple of reposts. I've already got a blog, a small Web site, Facebook and Twitter to keep up with. I figured no time for Tumblr.

But fuck it. It's time to start writing again. Be it on this blog or on the Tumblr account, it's time. So join me. Send me your thoughts, or just piss me off. It's time to write once again.

Diana's Tumblr

Monday, November 21, 2011

I hate you

I think I'll kill you now,
and keep your skin and bones,
like teeth rattling in my mouth,
until you scream for me to stop

killing you now: death is never sudden.
When you stop to drag it out, drag it down
the streets, and smear asphalt with a wide red
streak: It's you, your ribs spread to catch stones

and hold them. Now, every scream is another joy
of icy jewels rattling loose in my pumpkin grin:
Jack doesn't know shit about how much I hate you.


(more poems written by Diana Trees)

Friday, November 18, 2011

Starting fresh

This is a new batch of #TwitterFic - flash fiction written in 140 characters or less with a Twitter name. Typically, someone dies in the jaws of a zombie. But sometimes they get away.

---
We told @LornaSuzuki made the best motorcycle for outrunning the zombie horde. But though it was the best, the bike was out of gas.

After finding @DebbieRochon turned to find a way out of the collapsed building. Unfortunately for Rochon, Debbie had been bitten by a zombie

We were all zombie food, if not for @theglitterlady. Thanks to her sparkling, the zombies lost interest in the rest of us.

As a zombie, Eric spent his time at the @SpitToonsSaloon picking the fur out of his teeth after devouring Bugs Bunny.

Due to its higher intellect, the @WritingsofwoRm earned it a gradual uppercasing of it's name. Unfortunately, zombies eat woRms.

We let the @kungfupussy cat lead the charge against the zombie horde, never realizing that zombies love to eat ... cats.

When the zombies found @TamelaBuhrke, she was running as fast as she could. Turns out, though, her fastest was just too slow.

Zombie Mom spread the tablecloth, Zombie Dad opened the picnic basket. Before long, @ZombieAnts devoured everything.

As a @Newswriter22, Sean's silver tongue and thoughts were put to good use, until a tinsmith took his tongue and beat it into a spoon.

It was a zombie that took her tongue, After that, Diana chronicled the steady progression of the Zombie Apocalypse as a @Silentnovelist.

The zombie startled her; her mind went blank. She stammered: "@ChuckWesJ--" His name forgotten she ran like hell, leaving Charles behind.

He thrashed as they dragged him to the edge of the boat: "@WWSharkBaitWW?" he wubbled. "I won't do it!" Below, the zombie shark circled.

Ian demanded that his name be prounced correctly: "@IanMacGregger," he ennunciated crisply. The zombie gurgled and bit off Ian's tongue.

"All right, @StephanieSaye the zombie's name softly." Steph, tranced and compliant, did as she was told. Outside, the zombie stirred.

"We must find @a_greenwood," Alex said. "It's only in nature's purist place that we can reverse the Armageddon spell."

With @kurtfisherman properly minced and fed to the zombie horde, she felt confident in her continuance of the pursuit of Armageddon.

No one thought @MissLizVicious until they found her tearing out the deacon's throat. Now we know the Zombie Liz is truly Violent and Vicious

So many colors to choose from: blue and green and yellow. But when it came down to truth and desire, I knew I had to have @RubyViolence.

"Tiny squirrel, forest clown: Why is @XanderGrimm?" Chittering evil rodent bushy-tail reply: "Hollowed his belly to store winter's nut meat"

Though Grimoires are known as powerful tomes, it's the rare @VEscritoire (truly bound in human skin) that summons the Zombie Apocalypse.

Sure, Donny had another sister. But he was afraid to talk about her, because he thought @ShaetanDarko might be a demon.

For zombies, Love Growls, but Bites are Taboo, hence the name of Jugga's underground club for the undead - @JuggaLGBT

"I don't know @Peter_Germany seems like a long way to go to escape the Zombie Apocalypse." But in reality, there was no escape for Peter.

Sheilagh was known among the zombies as @SweetSheil, less for her temperment and more for the flavor of her flesh.

When he found @Leo_Godin thought him a sparkly vampire. "Son of a bitch!" Godin exclaimed, and staked Leo on the spot.

We knew Ian was evil, but when we found his account of #TheGirlattheEndoftheWorld in the arms of a zombie, we knew he was a @writebastard.

When @RonanJJBurke jumped through the window to what he thought was safety, it was the Double J that got the zombie's attention.

The growling author, @Literarygrrrl, joined her voice to Dark Lord @Daezarkian's and together wove the spell of the Zombie Apocalypse.

As an author, it was Robin's habit to growl when she wrote, even after she was taken by vampires. That's why she's called @VampWriterGRRL.

After things got @DiceyGrenor pulled out a .45 to deal with zombies. When Grenor ran out of bullets, she was happy Diana still had her sword

When things got @DiceyGrenor took to her heels. Unfortunately for Grenor, these were Rage Zombies - quick, vicious and hungry.

"The zombies are at the door! This is your call to @ActionChick!" But Katrina was too busy tweeting to run and ended up as part of the horde

Oddly enough, it was PB&Js that carried the zombie virus, and that's why Diane was safe with her @PBKup sandwiches - Peanut Butter & Ketchup

After tracking @virginiaSK for miles, SK found herself in the Shenandoah Valley, a vast wilderness teeming with starving zombies.

When he found @gina_penn was sure that everything would be all right. But Penn didn't realize that Gina had joined the Zombie horde.

"Apostrophes in names are an @abomination_M'Brown," the priest proclaimed. But as a zombie, M'Brown didn't care what the priest thought.

"It's the @philo_diamond that will save us!" Philip shouted. Unfortunately, the diamond lay at the center of the Zombie camp.

Anyone with enough sense can fight one zombie. But to take on the entire horde, you'll need #follow a woman who was @Born_Fighting.

While we knew the Dgn in @AllanDouglasDgn's name was short for his dungeon, we had no idea that he kept zombies within the crumbling walls.

When Jim's publisher told him to @WriteTheFantasy, not even Jim knew that his tale of a Zombie Apocalypse would come true.

Virginia earned the name Silent Killer, or @virginiaSK for short, after she cut a quiet path though zombies to retrieve the @philo_diamond.

It was the voices in @NicoleSteinhaus's mind that drove her mad. But's that's when she did her best writing.

When @Lola_Hexx'd me, I had no idea that it was a gift: I would spend eternity with a Lovely Hell Being, instead of being eaten by zombies.

When he saw @MichelleIBrooks, believed all was right with the world. Unfortunately for Brooks, Michelle had been savaged by the zombie horde

He was casual when he said, "@HayaAnis99," little realizing that she was a zombie, and he had attracted her attention.

We thought to overcome the @Inexpugnable_50 zombies, we need kill only 49 of them. Unfortunately, the last was the leader.

"Damnit, @thatstings!" Peanut didn't know it then, but the pain of the zombie bite was the least of his worries.

The first 32 didn't survive the werewolf's bite. When Kim lived, we called her @barkergirl33.

"I @MissHaunted houses." I turned to Lorraine. "They were such a delight, but the zombies have ended that."

I was looking for powerful words - a spell to stop the zombie horde. I found the words, but unfortunately couldn't pronouce @Teinetoa4lyphe

Vampire Swiftie thought itself well-hidden with the name @Pritpal20Kaur. But while humans couldn't decipher the code, zombies found her out.

"I @MissHaunted houses," Ireland said. "Since the Zombie Apocalypse, all the ghosts have gone, and we're left with rotting corpses."

Taylor turned and yelled: "@ChikBQuick!" But Kristi was preoccupied with a lovely sunset and failed to outrun the zombie horde.

The precedent had been set when the king appointed both a wine and food taster. Still, the idea of a @zombietaster was unsettling for most.

"Quit messing with that @GothicGourdGirl, and help us fight the zombies!" But Stacy was enraptured by the gourd and devoured by the zombies.

The zombie was salivating when he found @2girlsonabench. Unfortunately for the zombie, the girls were ninjas.

The zombie had no idea that she was @Born_Fighting, and that's why he got his ass kicked.

When @Lola_Hexx'd the zombie horde, they turned as one to devour the sparkly vampires. And all was right with the world. (the end)

Finding the bites covering @Leo_Godin chose wisely to run like hell. Unfortunately, Rage Zombies are quick, and Godin died in Leo's jaws.

C.C. was so engrossed in reading @gastarbooks that she completely missed the zombie horde sneaking behind her.

Seeing the vampire tear into @Donna_Carrick fled the room. Unfortunately, the door Carrick chose lead to the zombie horde.

As a vampire, Caroline was a @FangedBeauty. But when she drank the blood of a demon, her beauty turned ferocious.

We found that when @laurajeanwrites, it's best to keep our distance, as she likes to practice her murders prior to committing to paper.

After the zombie horde passed through, there was a @Phungus_Amongus. We made Dennis clean it up, and he snuck it into the family soup.

Most of the compound thought @NickSilly for his antics. But he got even one night when he opened the gate and zombies came crashing through.

When I noticed the @syco_punk drooling over my avi, I cut him open and fed him to the zombies. ;)

After running for @MylesGregory thought himself safe from the zombies. Unfortunately for Gregory, Rage Zombies never tire.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Cranking up the next batch of Twitterfic

"Please @StephanieSaye the name of the demon, and we can be free!" But it was too late: Zombies had eaten Stephanie's tongue.

We thought the @ghostgrl85 till till we noticed her piercings and lovely tattoos. We realized then, she must've have died much younger.

For @Lola_Hexx's weren't working on the zombie horde. Instead, she used her trusty flamethrower, and the corpses ran a-screaming.

When in the grip of the @inkMuse Rebecca lost all sense of where she was. Unfortunately, the muse took her as the zombie horde approached.

When @Lola_Hexx'd the zombie horde, she figured that was the end of its rampage. Unfortunately, zombies are spell resistant.

Finding a zombie at the throat of @AlisonBeightol fired off a quick shot. Beightol hit the zombie, but missed Alison: the latter had a meal.

Upon finding the unconcious @PrincessMarijke knelt and cradled the woman's head. That was Marijke's mistake, and the zombie princess bit her

Vicki was the first to discover that amphibians has been infected by the zombie virus, because @VickiLikesFrogs.

"I told you, you've just got to have @FaithMortimer!" But Mortimer was already out the door and fighting the zombie horde.

#TheEnchanters thought themselves safe as they had memorized the spells in @allieburkebooks. Unfortunately, zombies didn't heed magic.

We thought @NickSilly for his fear of the dead-alive, silly that is, until the zombies crashed through the gate.

We thought @SarahhSquare because she said "zombie," instead of using the politically correct terminology of "life challenged."

No one knew that zombies could speak, nor that they had a French accent. So imagine our shock when one of them remarked: "@zbleumoon"

Digging through the guts of a zombie, Phil found the @philo_diamond. Unfortunately, Phil was digging from the inside out.

"I'm kidding!" He winked. "I didn't mean to call you @barkergirl33." As a werewolf, Kim was not know for her sense of humor and gutted him.

"@ImDanielleEGray," she announced regally. The zombie, formerlly known as Princess Lydia, was not impressed and ate Danielle anyway.

As an @AuthorJenNS thought herself outside the zombie/human conflict as an impartial observer. The zombies, however, thought otherwise.

"We're out of bullets, bombs, hatchets and clubs," Sedgwick fumed. "All we've got left to fight zombies with is this @icypop."

It was her infatuation with ink that eventually saved @PrincessMiranda from being devoured by zombies: they found beauty in her skin.

Folks believed the Kompi dinosaurs in Jurrasic Park were made up creatures, until the dead rose from graves, and a @KompiZombie was found.

"That plan is @DiceyGrenor," he said. "But if we run like hell, we'll beat the zombies." Grenor nodded, drew her gun, and opened the door.

We didn't know werewolves could read in their furry form until we found the woman we now refer to as @ComicBookGrrl.

When he sat down to @WriteTheFantasy he'd always dreamed of, he found he could only pound the keyboard in frustration, as zombies can't type

"@theladywrites fantasy as a rule," he said. "But now that she's been bitten by a zombie, we'll just have to wait and see what happens."

When they gave @lolapowers over fish and fowl, she thought herself safe at the marina. Unfortunately, that where the zombies looked first.

At first Marshall thought it was just a @jitterymoose. Upon closer inspection, Marshall realized the moose was bitten by a zombie.

As a @ScifiReaderAnna knew how to defeat robots should they attempt to take over the world. Unfortunately, Anna faced zombies.

We had no idea that the Queen of the Zombies was actually a divine being, until we found her worshiped by the horde as the @HungryGoddess.

"Damn, Bea. Look! It's a @redhairedharpie!" But Beatrice was too busy fighting off a zombie to glance backward until too late.

Deciding to leave the @PrincessMarijke took to her heels and dashed out the door ahead of the raging zombie horde. Marijke was safe for now.

We told @DavidStand by the door, and keep an eye out for zombies. Then we left him there, and opened the window for the horde to enter.

We had no idea our cat had a fetish, until we caught it late one evening in the closet watching @angrypuppyfilms.

When @suzisquared off her fangs, we thought her a reformed vampire. Silly us. Vampires heal at a remarkable rate!

No one knew the undead existed at Camelot, and so were doubly surprised when a dinosaur zombie arrived from the court - dubbed @ExcaliburRex

By affixing the year to her name, @carlie2011c hoped to avoid the zombie horde. Odd logic, but it worked. Instead, the vampires got her.

When he saw @IanFydell took to the woods. Unfortunately, Fydell paid too much attention to the zombie behind, and not enough to the horde hiding in the trees.

"Goddamnit! Get the @Chainsaw_Sally!" But Sally didn't like being ordered about, so she shoved him off the roof to the zombies below.

Digging into the brain of a serial killer, I found @ssraven amidst chocolate dreams and slippery thoughts. Delicious memories!

When she saw the shimmer in the sky was @theglitterlady, Diana put away her knife. "Fairies are allowed to sparkle," she said. "For now."

The zombie crept up on the @2GirlsOnaBench, little realizing that they were bait, there to draw the undead within range.

"I want you to find the @Sickest_Bitch you can and feed her to the zombies." Unfortunately for him, the @Sickest_Bitch was already a zombie.

Finding the @firepixie324 was our only hope in detering vampires from our keep. Unfortunately, it was zombies who stormed the gate.

Before the Apocalypse, she was known as BeckyILee. Now we call her @BeckyiZombie.