Saturday, April 23, 2011

Rewriting the first paragraph

I needed to flesh it out. I'm thinking more along the lines of...


A hard rain pounded Atlantic City as I stood under a rusted metal awning and waited for my prey to make his nightly visit to the screamo bar across the street. Relentless and unforgiving, the rain lashed both the city streets and the crowds of nightlife seeking shelter and a euphoric release from their lives. Atlantic City didn't have quiet nights. Gamblers and hookers, tourists and punks: they all flooded the streets at night, looking for some kind of score. A quick fuck. A needle. A bag of cash, or a sucker. The streets of AC were garish with graffitied walls and casino neon flashing its come-hither message like a fuck-me doll. Huddled under umbrellas, the passing crowds were mushrooms scurrying into casinos, pawn shops, strip clubs, bars and theaters.

3 comments:

S.E. Gordon said...

Fantastic! :D

DianaTrees said...

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm working on the story today. I've actually got about a thousand words tapped out in different parts of the story. This one's coming together in pieces.

Anonymous said...

this post is very usefull thx!