Saturday, August 13, 2011

Another round of TwitterFic

Tanner didn't think much about the first 82 that went through the lab. That's why the latest psycho was known as @TheFool83.

The knock at the door, we assumed was @jennieofcourse. And indeed, it *was* Jennie. But that was before the Zombie virus took her.

He wanted to be known as "His Royal Majesty the Everlasting Superhero and All Around Great Guy Brandon," but we shortened it to @HMMADNESS

When we found @LilDannyTaylor hugging her momma's knees, we presumed them safe from the horde. Turns out, we were wrong.

We didn't know much about the @Twisted_twins until police found a @_DeadHooker in their Trunk. Now, we can't know enough.

When he saw @IanFydell took to the woods. Ian had been taken by the Zombie Horde, and Fydell didn't want to risk a bite.

Rebecca was a @CreepyWalker until the virus took hold. Now she's a fleet-footed zombie with an appetite for long pig.

The realization that the crystal monster was @kNotOfGod sent me reeling to my knees with mouth open in supplication.

We though the @MD_awkward when he sliced through the abdomen. It was only later that we figured out the doctor was a zombie and just hungry.

If you ask @Derek4words, you get a mouthful of mumbles. But if you ask him for a knife, then things get interesting.

When she saw @theglitterlady take to her heels, Stevie realized it was because she was a sparkly vampire, and not a fairy as presented.

"You can have an @icypop," Zombie dad said to Zombie daughter. "But wouldn't you rather have an Icy Sedgwick? More meat on humans than pops"

When we saw the @Blue_Girl13, we assumed she was cold. It turned out, however, that Nadine's unique color came from the Zombie virus.

With the demon imprisoned within @jezebelsbody, safety seemed assured. Too late we realized Jezebel was Queen of the Zombies.

Once she found the enchanted @StrawberrySarah thought all would be fine. But, zombies don't care for strawberries and ate her instead.

When we found the water was @Toxik_Shock rippled through the community. That was before we realized it as the source of the zombie plague.

When we saw the splattered zombie underneath @jezebelsbody, we thought Jezebel had not survived. It would have been better if she hadn't.

As an @AuthorTiffany found that she controlled her own little universe with her writing. But that was only until the zombie virus broke out.

"@IamLadyAurora," she said, waving a regal hand from her position on the balcony. Below her zombies beat their heads against the stone walls

Because she growled over the book, they assumed the @Literarygrrrl couldn't read. Their assumption proved fatal.

When he saw the @WerewolfMike backed away slowly. Unfortunately, there was a zombie behind him.

@Jody7666 had fooled everyone by separating her name from hell by a single 7. Zombies, however, don't believe in hell and ate her anyway.

When we found the @AuthorTiffany shook her awake. But didn't know that the author had been bitten, and now she's part of the horde.

While Nicole shouted that she was the @sisofdragons, it did like good against the Zombie horde who hungered for human-flavored reptile.

Zombies rarely care what they feed on, as their taste buds are largely burnt out. But as a horde they know that a @gingerkytten tastes best.

A Ghost has Followed Me for the last 30 Years

It's an odd morning. I'm up early on a weekend, because I need to go look homes. I'm selling my current house as part of the divorce settlement. Even though I own the house outright, I have to split what I sell the house for with the psycho-ex. That puts a dent in my buying power for the next house. A serious dent. I'll be downscaling quite a bit, as lost my good-paying job in January. Now I have a job at half the salary. That's miserable in this market.

Anyway. I'm sitting in the living room watching a little TV, waiting to leave for the appointment with the real estate agent. I've got a dog and a cat. Both of them are sitting in the LR with me.

Suddenly, there's a loud crash in the laundry. "What the fuck was that?" I didn't jump up. I set my coffee aside, then got up slowly. I went into the laundry room, and there on the floor is a huge bottle of liquid laundry detergent pouring out onto the floor.

"Shit!" I snatched up the detergent and screwed on the cap. On the floor, a blue pool slowly spreads out across the linoleum. I grabbed some dirty clothes from the hamper and soaked up the detergent.

I'm doing a load of laundry early today. But I'm still wondering how the fuck that detergent got off the top shelf and onto the floor.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


I love this picture. I just had to share it.

More TwitterFic - Today's postings again

We thought the @MD_awkward when he removed the liver instead of the spleen. Then we realized, the doctor was preparing for supper.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Capturing bots

I played a game a few nights ago to gather bots to my account. You can do that by tweeting keywords to Twitter, like iPad, Dunkin Donuts, free laptop ... There are other keywords, but I'll not post them all here. But I will list the bots who responded to my tweets:

Check out Miriam's list of brainless bots


There's just 10 for now. I'm sure that I'll pick up more as I continue to tweet. Feel free to send me your own list of bots, and I'll post them here.

By the way. No sense in Following a bot. They don't have much to say.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Tonight's TwitterFic - It's about You 2

The spell was inscribed into Michael's flesh with @Blackfireink taken from a phoenix's heart. That's why as a zombie, he's indestructable.

When he found it, Philip held the @philo_diamond high and screamed his joy, until the harpie swooped and snatched it from his grasp.

"It @RGoodship," the zombie growled. "It have lots of meat inside." Trapped in the hold, a hundred humans shivered in anticipation.

"We need the @Kindlbookreview of the Necronomicon," he said. "That's our only hope of ending this zombie plague."

We found @RichardTEckhart's legs by the busted bicycle, where the zombie horde tore him to pieces.

We took advice to @ReadHeavily as the best defense against zombies. Alas, upon conversion, zombies lose literacy and tend to devour readers.

They called @JeannieWalker1, because Jeannie was the first zombie to stop shuffling and stride quickly after her prey.

When Jennifer saw the @ShadowPhoenix32 swoop down over the city, she knew the Zombie Apocalypse was about to begin.

It was a simple spell with one word: @jezri1. Yet, only with the proper accent would it bring Nirvana. Otherwise, Armageddon beckoned.

I really love the @twisted_twins. Did I say love? I meant stalk. Did I say stalk? I meant to say shove them in a Trunk with a @_DeadHooker

"We've got to get @AmyLunderman said. "She's the key to the zombie infection." Too late, Lunderman found out that Amy had broken free.

"We've got the big gun," James screamed "The @BumpFire2012. That'll stop 'em!" But no matter how big the gun, the zombies kept coming.

"Beware the @fire_lass. It's the only way we can be sure the zombies are dead." But Sonya was already a zombie, and smothered the flames.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Do You Want to Die in the Slavering Jaws of a Zombie?

I write #TwitterFic - micro-fiction with a twist. Your username is combined with a short story, typically one involving the Zombie Horde that has swept the world. In 140 characters or less, I feed you to the zombies. Sure, I tell a few other stories as well, but normally it's the Zombie Horde.

If you want to die in the jaws of a zombie, catch me on Twitter @DianaTrees, and I'll do my best to carve you up into scraps for the undead.

When he saw @StevenKonkoly thought him a zombie. After all, Konkoly reasoned, Steven was from Jakarta - ground zero for the Apocalypse.

When he finally found @JillyJameson was too late. Jilly had been bitten, and she was now the Queen of the Zombie Horde.

Though gentically engineered to fight the zombie plague, @theSYNGENOR developed a conscious, and chose instead to join the horde.

When she came face to face with the @ZombinaNora forgot the first rule of silence, and screamed her way into the femme Zombie's gullet.

Solomon Calumet Petrof shortened his given name to @SoCalPete, but the zombies found him just as tasty roasting under the sun of California.

We found our missing socks behind the couch where the @ZombieIrishGirl had hidden, waiting patiently for our arrival.

The Zombie Apocalypse was losing steam, until the undead found the @BrittsBeachClub and had a feast of the young lovelies.

Though Shaun's movie was the one to make it big, it was @DavidoftheDead_ that exposed the legion of animated corpses.

When at last she found the @poet_teresa paused to savor her victory. Unfortunately she waited too long and the poet was eaten by the horde.

Rebecca thought the EvilChair the ultimate in violent things. But when she was thrown by the @CreepyWalker, she realized a new horror.

We thought @SoniaCharming1 until we discovered that all who crossed her were buried in the backyard.

Jenny had @dreamsofwriting that haunted her sleep. So too, did a vampire. Now Jenny dreams of the sun.

When Daneen found @LilDannyTaylor loitering at the fringes of the Zombie city, neither of them realized their lives would violently shift.

When life diverges, and I'm faced with two or more paths, I always choose the one that's soaked in @Rubyviolence.

He loved her enough that he called her name twice: @GerettaGeretta! It was the second sounding that caught the zombie's attention.

Few people realized that Grim was not his real name. But @PeterJReaper didn't strike the same fear into hearts as his chosen moniker.

As the movie was @RatedRLilStar asked Mayv if they could see something else. Unfortunately, the theater they chose was overrun by zombies.

No one expected a zombie-produced movie to do well, so it surprised the living that @TheRevenantFilm grossed billions.

I knew that Apocalypse had reached its peak when the @ZombiePuppets cut their strings, and ate the puppeteers.

When he was certain he captured the @SoulEaterWolf snapped shut the trap. What Wolf didn't realize was that the PeopleEater was behind him.

Ivin found the @Authopublisher software handy in producing ebooks. But he didn't know that the developer was the author of the Necronomicon.

As a @pseudohumanist Michael expected to fool the horde. But Michael didn't realize that zombies don't think, they eat.

We wanted to bury John somewhere on the @westlawns. But as a zombie, we had to set him free.

Exhuming @RenWarom proved to be their undoing, as it released MangaFusion - a mind fuck that ripped the thin dimensional fabric to Umwelt.

"We must find @a_greenwood," Alex said. "It's only in nature's purist place that we can reverse the Armageddon spell."

When the day was not @TypicalLydia put on her NightFace. For it was only in darkness that Lydia could face the daylight.

The spell wasn't complete without @BlueSleighty's poetry; the obsession it created brought the zombie horde to its knees.

Jeffrey had never seen a @Klingorengi before, and would have otherwise thought mating twixt Klingons and Ferengi impossible.

As a @ZombieAldous thought life perfect as he did little but eat and sleep. But after seeing a zombie babe he realized something was missing

Muttering the ancient @Daezarkian spell to turn the night to BloodSkies, Steven then turned back to his supper of long pig.

When the Zombie horde swept over @LA_Tafe turned his attention East. What Tafe didn't know was that the East was the Zombie stronghold.

It was the @HorrorShockLoli found most disquieting. But there was more violence to come when Loli discovered the blood-spattered doll house.